Bus ño.62- life lesson

Sometimes life teaches you great lessons not by bringing in big events but by making you face some hurdles.One just need to stop, notice, think and understand..

I am an intern at a court in Mumbai my job requires me to reach at work on time, I’m sure all jobs do ;). having been traveling on the same route for sometime now I always complained about not having a direct bus… actually never catching the direct bus..We just have one bus i.e. Bus 62 which would directly stop at my destination and if I  miss the bus which I always do. I  has to change 2 buses to reach the court.

Changing the buses itself can be a tedious task involving waiting at the bus stops in scotching sun followed by crowded bus  and then  walking a minimum of 10 min in the heat to catch the next bus from a different bus stop. The process is time consuming, can get one irritated and even dehydrated. Who wishes to start a day this way? But I did every single day.

 I complained and cursed the transport system,the roads the traffic, the frequency of the bus until I found myself complaining about it all to my parents on how I had to change two buses and how it was so irritating and what a bad system we had.

They were now concerned on how much I was going through just to reach  my workplace they gave me a simple advice which completely changed my mornings.

“They asked me to check the bus timing online before leaving”

Many who do not know the Indian Public transport system may think that it was such common sense..But let me inform that almost 95 percent of people (being specific of Mumbai) would not know the bus timing or wouldn’t have bus schedule.We never had such a thing!!! We learn the bus timing by standing on the bus stop waiting endlessly everyday over a period of days and learn what time the bus arrives that too no guarantee that the bus would arrive everyday on the same time. It’s just complicated!!!

Lack of GPRS system for live bus tracking or a schedule board on the bus stop would have helped and made life easier but unfortunately we don’t have such facilities neither it seems to be happening really soon.:(

I did not really wanted to take my parents advice I  doubted their internet knowledge because i thought they think internet has all the answers including this one, but since they were insisting I logged in on the net just to prove them wrong  but what I saw embarrassed  and ashamed me. They were right and i was completely wrong. Online I found  what is called the bus schedule of BEST buses which stated the approximate time the bus would reach various stops. I was surprised we had such an update available.

That day i learnt a lesson and couldn’t thank my parents enough Finally got my first 62 after 3 months travelling on that same route although I had to wait extra 7 min over and above the time specified in the schedule I was too happy 😁

What did I learn ?

  • We must share our problems with our parents because through their experience they can give the most valuable and effective advice.
  • We should stop blaming everyone for our problems. 
  • A little research prior saves a lot of time and discomfort.
  • There is always a solution to our daily issues one must take initiative to find solutions, complaining will not help.


Change is me..

Sometimes life can be such a mess: business is not doing well, relationship are falling apart, no penny in the pocket the world seems to be coming to and end and you want to blame every thing and everyone for your misery: the Government, the weather, the traffic, your rivals, your spouse, your colleagues, your car and the list can be endless….But there is this one person you don’t want to ever blame and that is yourself.

The biggest truth is things are gonna be the way they gonna be the Government, the weather, the traffic, your rivals, your spouse, your colleagues, your car they will just work the way they work;they always have. So if there is something or someone that is to be blamed, it’s you and if there is someone that need to change its not them it’s you

 Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got.

 Where do you start?

You start by making changes, Easy changes. Easy means what you can do. But things which are easy to do are also easy not to do. People dont/wouldnt/won’t do easy things regularly because easy things are easy to neglect: neglect time, neglect excercise, neglect eating healthy. Neglect over year leads to disaster

So if you want to change your situation, and change your future changes yourself first, you are your biggest obstical.

……

Stay happy 🙂
**Views have been compiled and taken from various self development audios.

I Can’t change it ..

For a while I have been reading blogs and watching videos to understand and answer questions which I am sure most of us look out for, such as How I can make life better? How do I  becoming more successful? What changes should make to change my situation? Where to start?

Offcourse there is so much information available online that you can have a pool of it and still not know where and what to start with. Here I like to share my personal input as to what I have learnt this far and what one should start with and set the ball rolling.(in brief)

All books, video  and audios which talk about success and change have something very common, and something so common that we all know about but we tend to forget the principal i.e Can’t Change It

Yes accepting the fact that I Can’t change it.

Let me explain, Can’t change it principle. One must always keep reminding him/erself that I can’t change things which are not in my control or which are not in my hand e.g I can’t change how cars move if I’m stuck in traffic. I can’t change how someone feels for me. I cant change the weather as per my needs.I can’t change government policies even if I don’t agree with them.I can’t change the deal line I have already missed. I can’t change my boyfriend cheated on me. I can’t change the fact I have lost a loved one.

If one is stuck in a situation no matters how frustrating it is or how bad one feel about it one need to accept the present circumstances.

Acceptance is the key…when you accept the circstance you remind yourself that this is my present situation my current fact and no amount of  grief, frustrating, irritation, cursing, sulking can change the past which has put me in this circumstance. No one can change the past but can decided how to live in the present and change the future.

Secondly  of the 24hrs do not give more than 5 minutes of you life cribbing and complaining about situation you in. The more time you dwell over negativity, the more you think over and over on how miserable things are, more energy is wasted in the wrong place giving you no results. Instead one must focus on how to change or get out of the  situation the positive sides, think about what I can do next to bring about change and if you cannot do much you need to just relax and be patient for things to change themselves…

To be continued….
Just a thought: So next time you stuck in traffic don’t spend hours complaining on how bad roads are and how crazy traffic is instead plan to leave early next time for now just on the music and enjoy your journey…Accept what you cant change

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The known stranger…

Some people sometimes make me wonder how they are behind my back? They come with a lot of mistery, you think you know them well but yet you may doubt everything you know. Their words and action may not match (sometimes for good),and what they are with you can be completed contradicting to what people say about them. Such people put me in so much confusion and chaos and I want to question every connection I have with them…

Any suggestions on how to deal with such people

I’m scared yet again…

I have no idea why I feel this strange fear before I start anything new. I don’t even know for sure what is it founded on, may be it’s out of my fear of  failure. 

I keep procastinating situations and events till I have no choice but to face them. Today I am in a similar situation, it’s been around 9months and I haven’t had the courage to get back to work, I always found an excuse why I shouldn’t go back and join the company I was previously interning with (they were kind enough to give me an opportunity to join them whenever  I wish to after completing my studies …It’s been 9months since I’m done with my education) But few days back I decided to get back to them and today I am supposed to meet them and finalised thing, but I am again too scared, my mind keeps playing excuses as to why I should delay things, It tells me how I will be thrown out of my comfort zone and how I will have no me time. How my other goals will be affected. What if I am not able to prove myself there? Will it be easy to integrate? What if I don’t enjoy it?

But with all the doubt fear and anxiety I have to take a  decision either I keep procastinating and be where I am or go ahead and finalise things and make a change and be a different person than what I am today…

I think I will go ahead

Wish me luck..

Violence in Silence….

Witch Hunting in India – Yes it EXISTS

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India today is the  largest democracy in the world but its facing a modern-day paradox. Where on one hand, it is  a rapidly growing economy, on the other, most of its population remains poor. Of the 121 crore Indians, 83.3 crore live in rural areas, said the Census of India’s 2011. Indians, both educated and not, often turn to superstition to cure illness, find love, and rationalize bad events.

 When a child falls ill or livestock die unexpectedly, when there is drought in the village or when  family faces financial crisis, often women who has been identified by any person or persons believing her to be in possession of evil power is  termed as  ” dayan”  “Chudail” , “Dakan” or “Dakin” and is accuses of practicing witchcraft to cause harm to others for personal benefit .

Once the women is alleged to be a witch its often followed by chain reaction of  moral panic leading to a systematic act of violence against the women whereby the entire community sanctions the punishment, this is termed as Witch Hunting

Witch hunts in many cases is accompanied by extreme brutality animages-1

violence including forcible stripping, being paraded naked in public, cutting or tonsuring of the hair, blackening of the face, cutting off of the nose, pulling of the teeth to ‘defang’, gouging out the eye, whipping, gang rape, forcible consumption of human excreta, cow dung or other noxious substances, sexual
assault, and killing by hanging, hacking, lynching or burying alive.

Witch hunting is one of the least talked about acts of violence on women in India. It is practiced in some form or the other in different parts of the country.  Indian government’s most recent data is alarming.

According to the Times of India, a National Crime Records Bureau report more than 1,700 women were murdered for witchcraft between 1991 and 2010. The numbers are undoubtedly actually higher, as many cases go unreported or authorities refuse to register the cases.

The root cause of this phenomenon have the reasons to be more of socio-economic than mere superstition, although originally the concept of witch hunting was based on superstition, it is more of a conspiracy now. The causes of the witch hunts in India revolve around patriarchy, greed, and fear. socio-economic issues like land grabbing, revenge for refusal to sexual advances or settling scores.

The increasing graph of crimes against women under the pretext of them being witches;   is alarming and calls for some desperate measures. Unfortunately there is no specific and particular national level legislation although there exist toothless state level legislations that penalizes witch hunting, but they too suffer from serious lacunas and lack of implementation. The provisions under the Indian Penal Code 1860 are used as an alternative for the victim which are not sufficient to provide justice.

 

My success..

Success an outcome of my fear to fail.

No one likes to fail, for some achievement is a motivation for some success is the goal for me fear of failure kept me going. My fear of failure has always been stronger than my desire to succeed. I have worked hard really hard because I didn’t want to fail..And that in many areas has given me success.

What keeps you going???